I’m in love with 2 and a half people at the same time. Yeahp.
Whoops look what I did. October 30th, 2012, one of two that day.
Riot is in fact one of my nicknames and my modeling handle. Obviously it is done in the same sort of font/style as one of Paramore’s album covers. This is because Paramore helped keep me alive a few years ago, and lit a fire in me which brought me to be who I am today.
Basia Kaminska (dear friend and fellow Girl of Oni) @
Yeah this happened
The Plot to Steal a Skull (Part two)
Somebody asked me about you today.
I smiled that smile you adore
And got that excited look in my eye
I get when I speak of things I care about.
I began gesticulating with my hands
You prefer out of your face.
Maybe I could have told them
How your laugh is loud like mine,
Or that I get a bit nervous slipping
My hand into yours
Because my hands sweat a ridiculous amount
On their own.
Maybe even about how
You look wonderful when you’re sleepy.
Alas, all I said was I hoped you were well
And you visited me when I was away and
You agreed to watch horror films with me.
That was enough.
Sarah McLachlan is one sonofabitch.
I thought you were trying to
Kiss me this morning
While I applied your eyeliner kohl.
I thought you were just sleepy this morning.
I saw you today,
Leaning forward slowly,
Eyes half open.
I saw you today,
Slothing around and
I watched you five minutes ago
From my perch on the stair landing.
I watched you stumble right past me
And struggle with the first step.
“Are you drunk?”
My eyes widened in fear as you
Swirled around sloppily to face me.
My eyes narrowed while you
Staggered to plop down to my right.
Breathily, slurring, “Ambien…and…heroin.”
My heart dropped in uncalled for disappointment as I
Realised my suspicions were correct, and vocalised that.
My heart sighed as
I figured I could assist him, without a word.
We said, “Yeah…Yeah…”
“I’m not sure why I got upset but it was upsetting.”
A foot apart
We playfully battled over
The position of your jacket’s zipper.
We had no idea who we were
Or what we would become.
This is why I now regret:
In that moment you stepped
Closer and completely undid
My hoodie and we
Looked up at each other
With your hands at my waist;
“Shouldn’t drink coffee… Get me an iced mocha?”
I used to be a poet.
Now I scrawl endlessly
In internal monologue.
Now I sit and sweat,
An empty shell-
Full of swirling images
Of words I cannot reproduce
Like the old me;
A shell full of alcohol and
I used to be a poet.
Now I am a member of a
I flow with soul and ink
And I am magnificent.
I am full and alive and
My eyes are blurred.
They say I am okay.
I am okay.
I am a poet, and more.
Like they say,
I am quite mysterious.
“……well that escalated quickly.”
I now find it odd
That I woke up next to you
Every other day.
I crave that now, is all.
Maybe after one of those nights
When your hands would scrape
All over my body,
While mine destroyed and enraptured yours.
You fervently run your fingers down my skin-
Once, you tore my belly freckle off.
My flesh has been under your fingernails,
Between your teeth,
In your mind.
I’d wake you up with a kiss and
I’d growl back at your stomach when it hurt and
I’d leave bruises and scratches and memories
All over you.
Waking up by myself every other day.
It’s like a frat house in here!
She doesn’t eat,
Except to survive.
She purges her mind,
I found the residue once.
Concern twists into suspicion
And back again.
She is showered with sweetness,
But sugar turns into weight,
Shortly after it’s lifted from
Her shoulders and her heart.
I try my best.
She walks quickly to escape
Her version of failure.
Her shakes are thick
To help her be thin.
She is a beautiful creature.
The Plot to Steal a Skull
What’s with the eyes?
What’s with your face?
You give me nothing.
What a bitch I am.
What do the mirrors say?
What does my smile say?
What does your blood say?
I’ll see you running.
I’ll set you running.
I’ll keep you running.